For the past six months, God has put the idea of Baptism on my mind. It has been a random thought, popping up in my every once in a while. I looked into getting Baptized a couple of times while I was at school, but it never worked out with my school and work schedule. In light of that, I kept the possibility of getting Baptized here at Maranatha in the back of my mind. It would be beautiful to be Baptized on the beach in Lake Michigan with the sun setting in the background. What a stunning and assured picture of the presence of God. But nothing pointed me toward Baptism here, so I didn't seek it out.
For the past couple of weeks, God has been showing just how much of my life and myself that I have not given to Him. I say I give my heart and soul and body to Him, but do I act like it? Do I pray before I make an attempt to love on someone? Am I constantly in pursuit of the Spirit, trying to discern where I am being lead? Am I giving the little things to God? What about food? God has blessed me with this body and He has given me dominion over it while I am on this Earth. Do I think about how I take care of it - the food I eat, how much sleep I get, how I work out? What about music? Am I thinking about the words that are in the songs and how it affects my spirit? I do not give these little things to God. In all honesty, I haven't even thought about giving God such "small" matters. But, if I don't give God the small things, how can I give Him the bigger things? If I don't give God control of my eating and music and dressing habits, how can I honestly give Him all of my heart and life? I don't think I can.
After God opened my eyes to this revelation, I knew confidently that I was being called in Baptism to give everything up to Him in a public manner. I can have my eyes opened and know in my head and believe in my heart that I am in pursuit of giving God everything, but I am human. I am human and I will forget and I will run the other way and I will take back control every single day. But God knows me all too well. He has blessed me with an opportunity to make my commitment to Him public, beautiful, and celebratory - through Baptism. He has blessed me with a tangible act and a way to look back and remember that I surrender... and that means surrendering everything. (AND I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED. I am literally about to pee.)
So anyway, I'm running away from my bad mood and the criticisms and the crowd when Hawk Nelson's "Arms Around Me" comes onto my iPod. My favorite mental picture of God is Him in His beauty and warmth and lightness cradling me while I talk to Him like a child and a best friend. He is smiling and just thrilled that I am there and I am wanting to include Him in my life... and I am comfortable and so in love with this being that takes care of me - that determines my every breath and who I will come into contact with. And so the words of this song struck a particular personal cord with me. As the words swirled and resonated in my mind, I started tearing up and soon laughing - I had to stop running. And it struck me all at once: I am giving my life to my best friend, my Father, my Creator. Nothing can touch me. No one can hurt me. I can go nowhere that He does not deem as okay. I am completely under the protection and power of my Lord. And I have never felt more secure and more joyful.
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Wrap your arms around me / Trying hard not to let go / Every time I stand up I fall without you / When you wrap your arms around me I know / You're with me wherever I go / Nothing else matters at all when you're here
-Hawk Nelson
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